You know that meme called “Scumbag Brain”?

Yeah, this one. I feel like my brain is trying to personify that meme lately…

It seems to go through these phases, and they always happy when I want to sleep. I’ll go months being able to sleep like a normal person. I lay down, all calm and peaceful, and I fall asleep with in 10 - 20 minutes, no problem. Then, for whatever reason, one night I’ll have a really fucked up dream. I wake up the next morning feeling a bit uneasy and disturbed, but don’t really think anything of it. And then, it happens again the following night, the next night, the night after that, the night after that, and so on. It gets to a point where I have trouble sleeping at night, because I’m being woken up several times a night by freaky dreams.

Then, the dreams will stop. I’ll get a night of decent sleep, and I’ll think everything is fine and dandy. However, the following night when I lay down and try to go to sleep, my mind decides to go into overdrive and think about everything and anything. And, it’s not just nice, happy things that I wouldn’t mind thinking about. It’s always things that stress me out, make me sad, or irritate me. And this just happens for a couple hours until I eventually become exhausted and pass out. This continues for a long time usually, night after night, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop it.

So, here I am right now doing exactly that. I’m tired because I didn’t sleep much last night, and I just want to sleep. But, I’ve been sitting here for the last hour or so stressing and worrying about stuff. Most of it is things I don’t have much control over, or I’m overthinking it to the point of absurdity, and yet I’m still thinking. I don’t know why my brain goes through these phases, or why is usually happens in the order of dreams then trouble falling asleep. Maybe I’m stressed, or maybe I’m just fucking weird/crazy. Regardless, it’s incredibly frustrating, and I want it to stop. I just want to sleep.